she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
