he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
