giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
