the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
