real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
