He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
