some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am available for nakedness
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
