it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
