Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
