Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
