your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
