So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
