I heard we made out
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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