do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
