I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
