I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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