That's when you crack a 10am beer
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
