Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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