Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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