Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
