Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
