I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
