Don't you send me to vm
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
