I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
