He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
