the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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