drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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