Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
