Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
