if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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