can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
