So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
