I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
