The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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