We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
