so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
