I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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