I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
