You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
