Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
