if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
