she smelled like a LAN party
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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