Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
