she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
