Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
