question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
