it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
