if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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