Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
