Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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